We all have those days where nothing seems to be going right. An emergency pops up that throws your plans off track, or despite having a long to-do list, you just can’t seem to find the motivation to complete any tasks. Sometimes we just want to wallow in our sorrows and clock out for the rest of the day. How do we stop ourselves from going into a terrible spiral of self-sabotage?

Here’s a simple four-step guide to getting you out of the mental rut and back on track.

1. Tweak your self talk

When things aren’t going the way you want them, it’s easy to fall into a terrible pattern of negative self-talk. But self-talk is powerful because it reinforces the identity you’ve created for yourself. When you say “I am lazy,” you often find ways to justify that identity by choosing not to do your work or binge-watching TV (my struggle). On the flip side, saying, “I am healthy” often leads you to make healthier life choices since you want to prove this identity to yourself.

On bad days to prevent a downward spiral of negative self-talk:

Decouple your identity from the situation. Don’t say “I’m a failure” or “I’m incompetent.”
Acknowledge the thought from an objective perspective by labeling your emotions and feelings, not yourself. For example, say, “I’m having the thought that I’m not accomplishing enough” or “I’m feeling frustrated because of this situation.”

2. Don’t confuse self-care with self-sabotage.

I am a big believer in self-care, and there is a lot of research to suggest that taking time for yourself can improve wellbeing, decrease stress, and increase happiness. But there is a fine line between treating yourself in a way that will help you recharge and come out feeling better and in a way that makes you feel worse. How do we avoid falling into the trap of self-sabotage instead of self-care?

Treat yourself the healthy-way

Focus on activities that will help you feel refreshed and restore you. Instead of drinking or binge eating, take a long bath, listen to music, or catch up with an old friend.

Avoid moral licensing

Moral licensing is rewarding yourself with “bad behavior” for “good” behavior. For example, starting the morning with a healthy breakfast and working out, followed by treating yourself with dessert at dinner. While rewarding yourself is a great motivator, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with treating yourself, it can result in self-sabotage if done too frequently. What do we do?

Don’t label tasks as “good” or “bad.” When we think of our actions in this way, we try to reach an internal equilibrium. It becomes a game where we try to even out the scores: I read for 30 minutes (1 point), now I can binge TV for 1 hour (-1 points).
Think of behavior as either bringing you closer to or farther from your goals. At Mana, we think of our lives as having four main pillars: growth, health, work, and fun. To lead a balanced life, we must spend quality time in each of these domains. If I’m feeling unproductive at work, I try to take a break and use the time to focus on building up the other three areas of my life - I might go for a quick run. This way, I end up feeling better about myself since I’m spending my time achieving a goal in the “health” pillar while also getting some space to recharge and come back to work in a better mindset.

3. Leverage the “Two-minute rule.”

Ever have a long to-do list of things you need to complete, and it’s just sitting there on your desk, staring back at you, waiting for you to start ticking off some boxes? The “2-minute rule” is my favorite tip for the days I feel unmotivated to tackle tasks or, on the flip side, feel too overwhelmed to begin. Make the most of your two minutes in three easy steps:

Prioritize your to-do list

We’ve written a lot of content on the benefits and importance of prioritizing and condensing your to-do list. Choose one task from your to-do list that you will take on for two minutes. It should be the most important task (and if you’re like me, it’s probably the one you’ve been putting off).

Set a timer for 2 minutes

Work on that task for two minutes. Doing so releases the pressure to try to tackle everything at once. It’s also much less daunting to complete two minutes of work. Have an essay you need to write? Start with two minutes. Feeling unmotivated to go work out? Put on your running shoes or unroll the yoga mat and do five sit-ups. Two minutes of progress is better than zero progress, and you’ll end up feeling better about yourself!

Check-in

Once your two-minutes are up, ask yourself, how am I feeling?

Ready to continue? Great! Keep going and ride the momentum wave. Set a timer now for 15 minutes and see how much you can get done.
Still struggling? First, pat yourself on the back for completing two minutes. Celebrating the small wins is so important, especially for an off day. Then ask yourself what felt hard. If you’re feeling unmotivated, try step 4: move your body or take your mind off the tasks and spend some time working towards another goal. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and see if you can complete another round of 2 minutes. Baby steps add up, and before you know it, you’re well through your to-do list!

4. Move towards your goals (literally)

Physical movement has countless benefits and can help clear your mind and increase endorphins (that happy chemical). It’s almost impossible not to feel better when you’re moving around. Go on a walk, run, hike, or stretch. Sometimes 15 minutes of movement is all you need to make you energized to take on the rest of the day.

But movement doesn’t have to mean exercise exclusively. Remember the four pillars?

Setting goals in each of the four domains and progressing in each of them can be a great way to bounce back from feeling unmotivated or burnt out in one of the areas.

If I’m ever in a slump at work, I like to log onto Mana to see if I’m making progress in the other areas of my life to see if I can refocus my energy on something other than work. I like how with Mana, I can quickly see how much time I’m spending in each area. Knowing that I could spend some time with friends or work out releases the guilt I used to feel when I wanted to take a break from work but didn’t allow myself.

Bonus tip: Create an “Excellence Routine.”

In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear suggests that we end up spiraling into long periods of demotivation because we have taught ourselves to need “motivation” to get things done. So when we’re not feeling motivated, we avoid entirely doing anything and everything.

Here’s the good news, though. Just like we learned to need motivation, we can unlearn this need by creating an excellence routine.

“You can train yourself for success just as well as you can train for failure”. - James Clear

While this isn’t something that can be fixed or established overnight, creating a routine that gets you in a productive mindset or helps you get out of a mental rut can be extremely useful in the long run.

Through a little bit of trial and error, I established my excellence routine to be going to get coffee. When I know I need to do a couple of hours of focus work, I walk to my favorite coffee shop, order my usual, and work. This small ritual has been so influential because on the days I don’t feel like working, all I have to do is get coffee, which immediately puts me into a productive mindset. (I also can guarantee it’s not the caffeine that does the trick since I’m a half-caf latte kind of coffee-drinker!)

Rescue your day

If you ever find yourself feeling exhausted, experiencing burnout, or just having a bad day, follow these four simple steps and get back on track. Not only will you save the day, but also you’ll most likely have an even better day than expected!

Reframe your self talk
Treat yourself in a healthy way
Start with 2-minutes
Move your body

Bouncing Back from a Bad Day